A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He

wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well

behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?" An

immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware, or pictures off the

walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And

I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if

your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
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The following story is told about a United Airlines gate agent in Denver, Colorado who was

Confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo: During the final days at

Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was

Rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way

to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it

has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've

got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was

unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any

idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address

microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the

terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17." The folks behind him in line

Began laughing hysterically. Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.

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A GOOD DREAM

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace

for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she

opened it – to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
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FLOWER EMERGENCY

A man rushes into the flower shop and tells the clerk that he needs two potted geraniums,

immediately! Clerk: "Sorry, we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets

instead?" Customer (sadly): "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

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FORGETFULNESS

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant.

He called his wife every bad name he could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant,

and the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And while

you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."
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KEEPING SECRETS

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more

trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I don't know about

that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."

"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted. "I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a

woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
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MAP READING

The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class