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2.6 Report 3 – Commentary and suggestions for improvement

In the commentary below, strong points of the report are shown by a tick (ü), weak points where improvement is possible are shown by a (x), and suggestions for improvement are shown by (v).

Section of the Report	Commentary
Title	The title should briefly and accurately describe the main focus or aim of the research.   û The title is too brief û The title does not accurately reflect the main focus of the research. û The title could be more specific e.g. ‘Research into public opinion in Kazakhstan about taking action on declining biodiversity.’ û There is no word count on the front cover
Introduction	In this section learners should explain the reasons for their choice of topic. ü The learner gives a legitimate reason for choosing biodiversity by relating the topic to issues studied in the Global Perspectives Course Programme. ü The choice is also justified through relevance to issues in Kazakhstan, government concerns and personal values. û The reasons are mainly listed very briefly. v The response could be improved significantly by describing each of these reasons in more detail. v Examples of the media materials and reference to a local government publication or press release would provide some evidence to support the argument for choosing this topic. v The learner tends to write in both the first and third persons – within a research report it is usual to write mainly in the third person, and not using ‘I’, except when expressing personal opinion or values.
Context	In this section learners should describe the background to their chosen topic and the context for the research which suggest the aims of the Research Project. ü The learner places the topic within the broader context of environmental concerns about climate change, briefly asserting that this is the subject of considerable media attention. ü Some sources and local examples of the problem are described briefly. ü The learner then gives a brief summary of the main causes of declining biodiversity and asserts that many people do not care about the situation and do not take action to improve the situation. v This section could be improved by providing greater detail on the sources referenced and by including a wider range of sources. v The organisation of the material and the line of argument could be clearer. Evidence should be given to support the assertion that people do not care and do not take action. v Additional discussion of the consequences of declining biodiversity might also have been included. v Whilst the global context is mentioned very briefly, this could be discussed more fully to give greater depth to the argument. v All sources should also be referenced in the bibliography.
Aims	In this section the learner should describe the purpose and rationale for the research. ü In the Report the aims of the research are clearly stated in the form of research questions. This is a strength of the Report. û However the personal opinions, values and potential actions of the learner are also stated frequently - this tends to provide unnecessary information and to obscure the main purpose of the research. û The intended focus upon local issues in Kazakhstan does not appear in the research questions. û Overall, the section lacks focus and clarity. v It could be improved by simply stating the research questions and describing the local country focus. Alternatively part of the research could be focussed upon the testing of some clearly stated hypotheses.
Method	In this section the learner should describe and explain the reasons for the choice and design of the research methods. ü The learner clearly and simply states the research design by describing how the research will be undertaken and the type of information that will be gathered by each method. v The section could be improved by providing more detailed justification for the selection of each method, the participants and the sample. v When explaining the selection of a method, learners should use the research concepts of ‘valid’, ‘reliable’, ‘representative’ and ‘generalise’. v Justification should relate to practical, ethical and suitability issues – for example, explaining that unstructured interviews are a good way to obtain in-depth information about people’s values, beliefs and reasons for behaviour. v In addition, some discussion of potential difficulties in the use of methods and how these were overcome would have added depth. For example about the potential bias and lack of accuracy in some internet sources. v More detailed description of the methods and research instruments is also necessary. ü The inclusion of the blank questionnaire in the appendices is helpful. v The lack of explanation for the design of the questions and any information about the unstructured interview are weaknesses.
Results	In this section the learner should describe the data gathered by each method and show how it relates to the original research questions. ü In this report, the learner simply describes the main data gathered using each of the methods in a relatively clear and accurate way. û However this section lacks detail. For example the description of the findings from the internet research does not link the data to the sources explicitly. û The sources are described but not fully cited or referenced. û The table provides a breakdown of the results of the questionnaire for the whole sample, however there is no attempt to compare different social groups; for example age or gender differences in the level of knowledge and understanding of the respondents. û The unstructured interviews were used to justify an opinion about levels of action and public opinion about responsibility for action to prevent declining biodiversity, however the analysis was supported anecdotally with quotations, but without any numerical data from more systematic content analysis of the responses.
Conclusion	In this section the learner should describe the conclusions or answers found to the questions. ü The learner summarises a few of the main findings and answers some of the research questions in the conclusion. û However not all of the original questions are answered fully. v The conclusion may have been clearer if it was presented in sections with headings for each of the research questions so that the conclusions for each could be easily identified by the reader of the Report. ü Some discussion of the implications of the conclusions is appropriate and this is attempted by the learner. û However the assertions are not fully supported or linked back explicitly to the context of the research and mainly become a statement of personal opinion about action that might be taken, perhaps better suited to the section on further research and reflection.
Evaluation	In this section the learner should discuss the degree to which the aims of the research have been met and the strengths and weaknesses of the research in practice. û In this report, the learner identifies several weaknesses of the research design and methods, but these are not discussed fully. v The learner should use the concepts relating to research quality to evaluate, for example, ‘reliability’, ‘validity’, ‘representative’, ‘fitness for purpose’ and ‘generalise’. v Discussion of examples of the potential sources of inaccuracy and bias might have added more depth to the discussion of the internet research. v Some suggestions of how to improve the methods and research design would have been helpful. For example the unstructured interviews could have been kept more focused if a check-list of topics to discuss had been used. û Positive comments are only asserted and not explained fully; giving an impression of lack of balance.
Further Research	In this section the learner should make suggestions about further research that could be undertaken following the original research and reflect upon their own learning. v In this report, one or two suggestions for further research were very briefly described and related to the outcomes of the research. However much more detail would improve the response. û The impact of the research on personal perspectives was only asserted very briefly and not fully explained. v Similarly the significance of further research for the original research questions and new issues should be discussed.
Bibliography	In this section the learner should provide a full bibliography. û In practice, the learner attempted to list the main sources. However the list was incomplete and lacked information. v The bibliography could be improved by systematically following a simple academic convention and listing all sources cited and used in the research. v Similarly, sources cited should be referenced in the body of the report and appear in the Bibliography, again following simple academic conventions.