Forty-two. Meggie

The doorbell rang. I knew who it'd be but that didn't stop what felt like an eagle tearing at my insides. Holding a sleeping Callie in my arms, I went to open the front door.

'Hello, Mrs Hadley.'

'Hello, Meggie. Hello, Callie darling.' Mrs Hadley stroked Callie's cheek before kissing it.

And all the while, I never took my eyes off her. It'd been a long, long time. A voice on the phone couldn't compare to seeing Sephy's mum in the flesh. Mrs Hadley was immaculately dressed as always, but even her skilful make-up couldn't hide the fact that here was an unhappy woman. And a woman who'd been unhappy for quite some time. The lines around her eyes were longer. The grooves at the side of her mouth were deeper. Her hair was flawlessly braided as always but the silver streaks were only too prominent. She wore a burgundy-coloured trouser suit with matching court shoes and a gold scarf tied around her neck.

'May I come in?'

'Of course.' I stepped to one side so she could move past me. Mrs Hadley hesitated in the hall as I closed the door. The moment I turned round, there she was looking at me.

'It's really good to see you, Meggie. You have no idea how many times over the last few years I've wanted to come and see you.'

I wasn't sure what to say to that. Then, quite unexpectedly, Mrs Hadley hugged me. Stunned, both my arms stayed around Callie and Mrs Hadley soon let me go. Where had that come from? I looked away, embarrassed, waiting for my red cheeks to cool down.

'How's my daughter?' Mrs Hadley asked.

'She's fine. Sephy and I both think she fainted rather than having been knocked out or anything like that,' I said. 'Jaxon brought her straight home and she's been in bed ever since. That's why I phoned you to ask if we could meet here rather than at the coffee shop. I didn't like to leave her.'

'She's been doing too much,' Mrs Hadley sighed. 'She's only just had a baby, for goodness' sake.'

'I've tried telling her that but she won't listen,' I said. 'Sephy's not listening to much of anything at the moment.'

'Can I see her?'

'She's asleep upstairs. I thought maybe we could talk first,' I told her.

She nodded. 'So what's going on?'

'You'd better come through.' I ushered her into the living room, then followed her in. As she looked around, I lifted my chin and looked straight at her. The brown carpet was an obvious remnant and most of the furniture was second- or third-hand. But it was my home. Let her dare say anything about it. She sat down on the sofa and looked around again.

'This is a lovely room,' she smiled. 'Very cosy and inviting.'

I nodded, unsure of what to say. I decided to continue the pleasantries. 'Would you like a cup of tea or coffee, Mrs Hadley?'

'Won't you call me Jasmine?'

'It wouldn't be . . . appropriate,' I replied.

'Very well, Mrs McGregor. No first names for either of us,' said Mrs Hadley.

I didn't like her calling me Mrs McGregor. No one called me that. Not even Renee in the post office and I only just knew her.

I smiled. 'Would you like a cup of tea or coffee, Jasmine?'

She smiled back. 'No thank you, Meggie, but I'd love to hold my granddaughter.'

I handed Callie over and watched as Mrs Hadley fussed over her. In my head she'd always be Mrs Hadley. She looked at me suddenly as if she knew I was thinking about her.

'Tell me what's been happening with Sephy,' she said.

So I told her. Everything. Including what it said in the letter Callum was supposed to have written. She didn't interrupt once.

'I see,' she said at last. I watched as she looked down at Callie, no trace of a smile anywhere on her face. 'Sephy feels things deeply. Too deeply sometimes, in spite of what she might say.'

I sensed more was coming so I didn't speak. After a long pause, Mrs Hadley looked directly at me. 'Persephone was pretty much left to bring herself up. That was my fault. I wrapped my life around my husband and then around a wine bottle. By the time I was ready to stand on my own two feet, I didn't know my children any more – especially Sephy. And she's more like me than she cares to think. She wrapped her whole life around Callum. He was the reason for almost everything she did, so his letter. . .' Mrs Hadley shook her head. 'She probably doesn't know which way is up at the moment.'

'Callum didn't write that letter,' I interrupted.

'Are you sure about that?'

'It looked like his writing, but Callum wouldn't write that,' I argued. 'He cared too much about Sephy.'

'But whether he wrote it or not is hardly the point,' said Mrs Hadley. 'What matters is that Sephy thinks he did.'

'So what should we do?' I asked.

'The worst thing we could do is badger her,' said Mrs Hadley. 'Take it from me, it doesn't work. Sephy will dig her heels in and always do the exact opposite of what you tell her.'

'We have to do something. Callie deserves the best we can all give her – and that includes from Sephy,' I said.

'But you don't believe that's what she's getting?'

'Not at the moment, no,' I admitted.

Mrs Hadley shook her head. 'Sephy's just a child herself. And she's been through so much already. There's no way she can cope with raising a baby on her own.'

'I agree. And I'm worried about the way she's treating Callie,' I confessed.

'Why?' Mrs Hadley asked sharply. 'What's she doing?'

'Yes, what am I doing, Meggie?' Sephy's cold voice rang out behind me.

Dismayed, I spun round in my chair. The look Sephy was giving both of us could've withered concrete.

'Sephy, I didn't mean—'

'How dare you both sit there and criticize and condemn me?' Sephy said with quiet fury. 'Neither of you has any idea what I've been through over this last year. Meggie, you keep going on and on about how that letter wasn't written by Callum. Well, I've got news for you. It was. I know his writing better than I know my own. And what's more, deep down I think you know he wrote it. You want to make me out to be a liar or deluded because I've accepted that the letter came from him, but you're the deluded one. And Mother, you're sitting there holding Rose and telling anyone who'll listen that you'll do anything and everything for her. Well, you blew it with me and Minerva, Mother. And Rose isn't your second chance.'

'Sephy, we weren't—'

'Sephy, you're not being fair—' Both Mrs Hadley and I tried to protest but Sephy wasn't having it. She was in full flood now.

'I wish you'd all just back off and leave me alone.' Sephy's voice was getting higher and louder. 'It's like no matter which way I turn I can't please anyone. So that's it. From now on, sod you all. I'm going to please myself. And both of you can go to hell!'

Sephy stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her with such force that it ricocheted against the frame and bounced open again. I turned to Mrs Hadley and we looked at one another, each, I suspect, mirroring the other's expression. Moments later the front door was opened, then slammed shut with enough force to make the glass in it rattle. And we were left with an atmosphere in the room like nothing I'd ever felt before. Cold, sad and threatening.

Like something around us had changed for the worse, and with a sense of foreboding I wondered if anything could change it back.