Cost drive go know play see sell smoke wash wear

1. 'Have a cigarette.' 'No, thank you. I _don't smoke._
2. They _____ newspapers in that shop.
3. She has a car but she _____ very often.
4. I like films but I _____to the cinema very often.
5. He smells because he _____ very often.
6. It's a cheap hotel. It _____ much to stay there.
7. He likes football but he _____ very often.
8. I _____ much about politics.
9. She is married but she _____ a ring.
10. He lives near our house but we _____ him very often.

– You are asking somebody questions. Write questions with Do/Does ...?

1. I work hard. And you? _Do you work hard_?
2. I play tennis. And you? _you_?
3. I play tennis. And Ann? _Ann_?
4. I know the answer. And you? _____ the answer?
5. I like hot weather. And you? _____ ?
6. I smoke. And your father? _____ ?
7. I do exercises every morning. And you? _____ ?
8. I beak English. And your friends? _____ ?
9. I want to be famous. And you? _____?

– These questions begin with Where/What/How ...?

1. I wash my hair twice a week. (how often/you?) _How often do you wash your hair_?
2. I live in London. (where/you?) Where _____?
3. I watch TV every day. (how often/you?) How _____?
4. I have lunch at home. (where/you?) _____?
5. I get up at 7.30. (what time/you?) _____?
6. I go to the cinema a lot. (how often/you?) _____?
7. I go to work by bus. (how/you?) _____?

– Use the verbs in the list to make questions. Use the word(s) in brackets ( ).

Cost do do go have play rain smoke speak like

(he) _Does he_ often _play_ volleyball? Yes, he's a very good player.

(you) Excuse me,________________ English? Yes, a little.

(you) What __________________________? I'm a secretary.

(your sister) What _____________________? She works in a shop.

(she) ________________________________? Yes, 20 cigarettes a day.

(it) How often_________________ in summer? Not often. It's usually dry.

(you) _________________________dancing? Yes, I love it.

(they) What time ______usually _____to bed? 10 o'clock.

(you) What ____usually _____for breakfast? Toast and coffee.

(it) How much _________to stay at this hotel? 30 a night.

– Write positive or negative short answers (Yes, he does/No, I don^'t etc.).

1. Do you smoke? _No I don’t_
2. Do you live in a big city? ______
3. Do you drink a lot of coffee? _____
4. Does your mother speak English? _____
5. Do you play a musical instrument? _____

6. Does it rain a lot where you live? _____

The Sentence Structure

Word order in English sentences:

verb + object

Jill reads a newspaper every day

subject verb object

The verb (reads) and the object (a newspaper) are usually together:

- Jill reads a newspaper every day. (not ‘Jill reads every day a newspaper.’)

subject	verb	+object
You	speak	English	very well.
I	watched	television	all evening.
We	invented	a lot of people	to the party.
My brother	phoned	the police	immediately.

— I like Italianfood very much. (not ‘I like very much Italian food.’)

— Ann borrowed some money from the bank. (not ‘Ann borrowed from the bank some money.’)

— I opened the door very quietly. (not ‘I opened very quietly the door.’)

— George usually wears a black hat.(not ‘George wears usually a black hat.’)

— Why do you always makethe same mistake? (not ‘Why do you make always the same mistake?’)

— place and time

	Place (where?)	time (when? how long? how often?)
George walks	to work	every morning
We arrived	at the airport	at 7 o’clock.
Are you going	to the party	tonight?
They’ve lived	in the same house	for 20 years.
I usually go	to bed	early.

place is usually before time:

— They go to school every day.(not ‘They go every day to school.’)

— I went to the bank yesterday afternoon.(not ‘I went yesterday afternoon to the bank.’)

— Jack’s brother has been in hospital since June.(not ‘...since June in hospital.’)

Revision test

– Put the words in the right order.

1. (a newspaper / reads / every day / Jill) Jill reads a newspaper every day
2. (football / don’t like / very much / I) ……………………………………...................
3. (London / do you know / very well?) …..………………………………....................
4. (I / very well / French / don’t speak) ……………………………………...................
5. (I / this picture / don’t like / very much) ……………………………….....................
6. (she / smokes / every day / ten cigarettes) …………………………….......................
7. (you / the same clothes / wear / every day) …………………………….....................
8. (I / want to speak / fluently / English) ….....................................................................
9. (lost/I/my watch/last week)...........................................................................................
10. (Tom/the letter/ slowly/read).......................................................................................

– Put the words in the right order.

1. (to work/every morning/walks /George) George walks to work every morning
2. (goes / every year / to Italy / Jill) …………………………………….........................
3. (in London / Alice / in 1951 / was born) ……………………………….....................

4. (in October / Barbara / to university / is going) ……………………….......................

5. (to work/ tomorrow/are you going?).............................................................................

6. (next week/they/to London/are going..........................................................................

7. (many times/my parents/have been/ to the United States)............................................

8. (a beautiful bird/this morning/I/in teh garden)..............................................................

9. (my umbrella/last night/ I think I left?in the restaurant)...............................................

10. ( at the party/we/early/arrived).....................................................................................

11. (they/since 1984/here/have lived)................................................................................

12. (will you be/this evening/at home?)..............................................................................

13. (to the cinema/last night/did you go?)...........................................................................

14. (on Monday/here/will they be?).....................................................................................

Unit II

COUNTRIES AND CITIES

(traditions, customs and holidays in Russia and English speaking countries)

Lesson 1

ACTIVE VOCABULARY

Translate the words and phrases and try to pronounce them correctly.

transcontinental adj. crossing the continents

area n. geographical region of indefinite boundary

mineral and energy resources natural resources in the form of minerals: natural resources producing energy (gas, oil etc.)

border n. a line determining the limits of an area

population n. the people who inhabit a territory or state

vary v. become different

steppes n. huge plain without trees

plains n. flat open land

forests n. land that is covered with trees

tundra n. vast plain without trees in the arctic regions

taiga n. thick forests in the northern regions

mild adj. soft

heat n. high temperature

unbearable adj. impossible to bear, to stand

moderate adj. not extreme

continental adj. typical to Europe

READING

Read the following text aloud:

RUSSIA

Russia is a transcontinental country lying both in Asia and Europe. With an area of over 17000000 kmІ, Russia is the largest country in the world. It has rich mineral and energy resources. Russia has the world's ninth-largest population. Russia shares land borders with 17 countries. After the breakup of the Soviet Union, Russia is the Soviet Union's successor state in diplomatic matters.

Natural conditions of Russia vary greatly. There are steppes in the south, plains and forests in the midlands, tundra and taiga in the north. Because of its size, Russia's climate is also varied. In the south-west the weather is usually mild and wet. Northern Asia is one of the coldest places on earth. In the south the heat is unbearable, and the climate is subtropical. But in the middle of the country the climate is moderate and continental.

Russian is the official language of the country. Russian is also the language of such great writers as Pushkin, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Chekov, Pasternak and Solzhenitsyn.

Moscow is Russia's capital and largest city (population 8.3 million). Moscow is also important as an economic and business center. Its cultural tradition is rich, and there are many museums devoted to art, literature, music, dance, history, and science, as well as hundreds of churches and cathedrals.

Wikipedia

READING COMPREHENSION

I. Find in the text English equivalents for the following Russian phrases.

полезные ископаемые и энергетические ресурсы, девятый по величине, граничить, развал Советского Союза, государство-преемник, быть посвященным чему-то, собор.

II. Correct the statements if you find them wrong. Use such phrases as: I agree with you. You are right.or I’m afraid I don’t agree with you. That’s not true/right.

1. Russia is situated in Eurasia.
2. Russia is the largest country in Asia
3. The area of Russia is about 20 million square kilometers.
4. Russia has the world's largest population.
5. The climate of Russia is not varied.

III. Answer the following questions using the text.

1. Where is Russia situated?
2. Russia is rich in mineral and energy resources, isn’t it?
3. Is Russia the Soviet Union's successor state?
4. Does Russia share borders with 17 or 7 countries?
5. What is the Russian nature like?
6. Why is Russia’s climate so varied?
7. What is the official language of the country?
8. What is Moscow?
9. How big is the population of Moscow?
10. Is Moscow only an economic and business center?

IV. Divide the text into parts and entitle them. From the information presented add necessary sentences to the entitled parts.

1. Russia is a parliamentary republic. The Head of the state is the President. The legislative powers are exercised by the Duma.
2. The country is washed by 12 seas of 3 oceans: the Pacific, the Arctic and the Atlantic. There are over two million rivers in Russia. Europe’s biggest river, the Volga, flows into the Caspian Sea. The world’s deepest lake is Lake Baikal.
3. The capital of Russia is Moscow It is one of the oldest Russian cities.

V. How much do you know about Russia? Do the Knowledge Quiz about Russia, its history, geography, culture and politics.

Russia Knowledge Quiz

1. What is the building where the Russian President lives called?
Isakovskiy Sobor Kreml (Kremlin) Beliy Dom St. Basil's Cathedral
2. Who was the last Tsar of Russia? Nicholas II Alexander III Alexander II Peter the Great
3. Which Tsar rescued Russia from the Mongols? Ivan I Ivan the Terrible Ivan III (The Great) Vasili III (Father of Ivan the Terrible)
4. Ivan the Terrible wasn't always terrible. What positive thing did he bring to Russia after his visit to Europe? The printing press. New ideas for industrialization. New military strategies. Tobacco
5. Boris Gudonov was one of the few rulers of Russia who wasn't of Russian origin. Of what origin was he? Swedish Mongol French German
6. In 1887 something tragic thing happened in Vladimir Lenin's life. His brother was charged with Tsaricide (an attempt to assassinate the Tsar.) What was the full name of Lenin's brother? Answer: (Two Words)
7. Situated on the Lena River in the far east of Siberia and the second coldest city in the world, many dissidents were exiled here during the communist era? Yakutsk Kazan Volgograd Vladivostok
8. Known as Sverdlovsk during most of the 20th century, this city was the infamous site of the execution of Czar Nicholas and his family in 1918? Mumansk Yekaterinburg Nizhni Novgorod St. Petersburg
9. Named from a Sami word meaning 'the edge of the earth' this is the largest city inside the arctic circle and Russia's only major ice-free port in the west? Murmansk Vladivostok St. Petersburg Novosibirsk
10. Known as 'Stalingrad' during much of the communist era, this city was destroyed during World War II and represented the farthest point of the German advance? Volgograd St. Petersburg Moscow Nizhni Novgorod
11. Situated on Russia's Pacific coast, this city has been a major port and naval base and was occupied by Japanese troops after the Russian Revolution until 1922? Yakutsk Vladivostok Novosibirsk Murmansk
12. Founded originally on the Volga River by Mongol invaders and nowadays capital of the Tatarstan Republic, this city was a source of trouble for a succession of Russian administrations until finally subdued in 1774? Noril'sk Nizhni Novgorod Kazan Yakutsk
13. Known as 'Gorky' during the communist era and long a centre of trade and commerce, this city is located at the confluence of the Volga and Oka Rivers and is one of the largest cities in Russia? Novosibirsk Nizhni Novgorod Chelyabinsk Rostov
14. Name the highly revered 19th century writer who is praised in the phrase, “________ is our everything.” Nikolai Gogol Alexander Pushkin Leo Tolstoy Fyodor Dostoyevsky
15. Which of the following is not considered one of Nikolai Gogol’s Petersburg Tales? Nevsky Prospect The Nose Viy The Overcoat
16. Which of the following biblical characters does not appear in “Master and Margarita” by Mikhail Bulgakov? Jesus Peter Pilate Judas
17. Name the Russian-born author of “The Gift” and “Pale Fire,” who spent much of his life writing in America and Switzerland. Alexander Solzhenitsyn Ivan Bunin Vladimir Nabokov Joseph Brodsky
	18. How many Russian/Soviet writers were awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature during the 20th century?
19. What countries border on Russia? In the south? In the west? In the east? Answer: (17 countries)
20 What is the population of Russia? 221 ml 164 ml 142 ml 156 ml

http://www.funtrivia.com

Speaking Practice

Using the information learnt, discuss with your partner: a) the territory of Russia; b) the climate of Russia; c) the capital of Russia and its cities: d) the political situation of Russia, e) the history of Russia, f) the contribution to the world’s literature, using newly learnt words.

Lesson 2

LEXICAL EXERCISES

I.Organise the words into two groups: describing towns/cities and describing countryside.

shopping center field woods factory museum suburbs farm night-life pollution valleys tall buildings theatre streets and avenues fresh air libraries and universities lake underground car parks statues lots of traffic

II. Match adjectives in A with opposites in B.

clean	cheap
small	agricultural
safe	dirty
expensive	big
industrial	bad
good	noisy
quiet	dangerous

Which adjectives describe country life and life in the city?

Reading

Read the description of the picture “Mr. and Mrs. Andrew” of one of the most famous painters of 18th century Britain, Thomas Gainsborough. Pay attention and practice the vocabulary underlined.

Mr. and Mrs. Andrews (1750) is an oil painting by Thomas Gainsborough. The picture combines the two genres – portraiture and landscape. The artist placed the figures against the landscape background. In the foreground one can see a couple in front of a stout oak tree – the husband is standing and the wife is sitting. A real, quiet valley stretches out behind them: everything here is unmistakably English.

Robert Andrews is having his shotgun under his arm as his dog is looking up at him. He is standing proudly in the middle of his huge estate. His wife is sitting on a wooden bench. The play of light, movement and the choice of the other colours make the light blue of the informal hunting dress spring to life, fresh and clean as the nature around them. Her pose resembles one from a book of etiquette.

Our eyes are drawn from a field with recently harvested golden corn to meadows of grazing sheep, a stand of trees and the hills in the distance. The clouds touch the land at the horizon. The small tower in the left background of the piece is a church.

http://wikipedia.org

SPEAKING PRACTICE

I. Have a look at the historical painting of a well-known Russian painter Vasili Surikov, 1891 “Taking a snow fortress” and describe it using the Present Continuous Tense. Use the underlined vocabulary from the previous exercise.

These words and word combinations will help you (the air is fresh and frosty; to wear sheepskin coat, warm caps and mittens; Russian tradition of celebration of the Maslenitsa; divide into two groups; make a snow fortress, run, fight, climb the snow wall; become the master of the fortress; defend oneself; throw snowballs, etc.)

II.Write the conversation between Steve and James in the correct order. Look at the phrases in bold.What are they used for?

- Well, I am training to be a manager.

- Yes, it’s quite interesting. How about you?

- Oh, hi Steve. How are you?

- No, my friends are helping me.

- Fine, thanks. And you? What are you doing these days?

- Oh, how interesting! Are you doing it alone?

- Really? Are you enjoying it?

- Well, I am not working at the moment, but I’m very busy. I am building a house.

James: ________________

Steve: _________________

James: ________________

Steve: _________________

James: ________________

Steve: _________________

James: ________________

Steve: _________________

III.Choose one of the photos and make up a conversation between these people.

IV.Make up a conversation, speaking about your life at the moment and using conversational phrases.

Lesson 3

ACTIVE VOCABULARY

Translate the words and phrases and try to pronounce them correctly.

to be situated

to consist

surface

valley

influence

monarchy

rule

in practice

Prime Minister

highly developed

LISTENING TEXT

Listen to the text “GREAT BRITAIN” and be ready to discuss it with your partner.

LISTENING COMPREHENSION

I. Correct the statements if you find them wrong. Use such phrases as: I agree with you. You are right.or I’m afraid I don’t agree with you. That’s not true/right.

1. The UK consists of England, Scotland, Wales and the Northern Ireland.
2. The surface of the British Isles does not vary much.
3. There are some rivers but they are very long.
4. The climate of the British Isles is mild because of the Gulf Stream.
5. The territory of UK is not very small.
6. People in Britain prefer to live in cities not in the country.
7. The Prime Minister is the head of the state.
8. London is the capital of England.
9. The economy of the UK depends on the agriculture.
10. British people have a lot of traditions and always keep them.

II.Answer the following questions using the information from the text.

1. The UK is an island state, isn’t it? Where is it situated?
2. What are the parts of Great Britain?
3. Does the surface of the country vary very much?
4. Are there a lot of long and deep rivers in Great Britain?
5. Why is the climate of the British Isles mild?
6. How large is Great Britain?
7. The UK is a monarchy. What does it mean?
8. Who rules the country?
9. Is the UK a highly developed industrial or agricultural country?
10. What is the capital of Great Britain?

III. Do the Knowledge Quiz about Great Britain, its history, geography, culture and politics.

Britain Knowledge Quiz

1. Who is the current monarch?
King George Queen Elizabeth I Queen Elizabeth II Queen Elizabeth III
2. Which of the following is incorrect (not right) ? The river Thames flows trough London Scotland is south of England Wales is west of England Tonbridge is south of London
3. Which of the following is an area of sea water adjacent (next to) to the UK? Pacific ocean Sea of Scotland North Atlantic Ocean Arctic Ocean
4. Which of the following is a well known British food? Chicken Frogs legs. Fish and chips Hamburger
5. The highest point in the UK is.... ? Ben Nevis, Scotland Snowdon, Wales Helvellyn, England Kinder Scout, England
7. Which of the following is NOT the patron Saint of a UK country? St. George St. Harry St. Patrick St. Andrew
8. How many countries are there in the United Kingdom?
9. Who is the Prime Minister of the country? Tony Blair John Frazer Gordon Brown John Major
10. The currency of the UK, the Pound Sterling, today is worth about ….RUS rouble?
11. Famous shopping streets in London are … ? 5-th avenue Oxford Street Princes Street New Bond Street
12. Which of these inventions are NOT British: ? the steam engine Sandwich Cricket the bicycle
13. Rolls Royce, Britain’s most prestigeous motor company, has recently been taken over by … ? BMW Volkswagen Daimler-Benz Honda
14. The quickest way of travelling from France to Britain is by … ?” Train Boat Steamer Hovercraft
15. The first capital of Britain was … Bath Edinburgh Colchester Salisbury

IV. Complete the table. How much do you know about Britain?

Three British rivers	Three British companies	Three British writers:	Three British singers
1.	1.	1.	1.
2.	2.	2.	2.
3.	3.	3.	3.

Speaking practice

Discuss with your partner using newly learnt words and facts from the previous exercises: a) the territory of the UK; b) the climate of The British Isles; c) the political and economic structure of Great Britain; d) the present and the past of the country; e) Britain’s contribution to the world’s science and culture.

Lesson 4

LEXICAL EXERCISES

I.Check the meaning of unknown words relating to holidays, customs and traditions of the country. Make up sentences with them.

customs and traditions	decorate	invite/invitation
public /private holidays	celebrate	congratulate
day off from work	give/receive presents	party
shops and factories close	greeting cards	festive dinner
family holiday	visit friends and relatives	fun

II. Here you can find two texts, but they have been mixed up. Look at the titles. They will help you to arrange the sentences in the correct order and create two humorous stories.

THE INVITATION/ THE FARMER

1. "Well", said the farmer, scratching his chin, "I'll tell you what we do."
2. "Why do I have to use my elbow and my foot?" asked his friend.
3. A man inviting his friend to his home explained to him where he lived.

4. The man went back to his car with a puzzled look on his face and said to his wife, "I think he must be crazy."

1. "Come to the third floor," he said, "and where you see the letter "E" on the door, push the button with your elbow and when the door opens put your foot against it."
2. "We eat what we can and what we can't eat we can".

7. A curious tourist, after passing a huge field of carrots alongside the road, stopped and asked the farmer what he did with his large crop.

1. "He said they ate what they could and what they couldn't they could."
2. Well," exclaimed the man, "You're not going to come empty-handed, are you?"

III.Match the names of holidays in English speaking countries with the dates they are on and the symbols of these holidays.

holiday	date	symbol
Halloween	25th of December	coloured eggs
Easter	26th of December	sweethearts
Christmas Day	14th of February	pumpkins
Valentine’s Day	March	boxes with presents
Boxing Day	31st of October	stockings for presents

III. There are words denoting holidays of different countries in this word search below. Find them. The words begin with these letters.

They go across and down What countries are they celebrated in?

I________	Ch____	W_____
V_______	H_____	E______
Th______	N_____	K______

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Writing practice

I.Here are things that people say or write at certain holidays. Match a line in A with a line in B

A	B
Merry Christmas!	Thank you very much.
Congratulations!	Cheers!
Pumpkins and candles witches and bats decorations for handles and tall pointy hats	It's nice to have a friend like you. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Because you make me feel so fine, I'll take you for my valentine!
Happy New Year!	Trick or Treat!
Ours love will pass all tests It's too early for the rest! You and me, we both together Will be glad for any weather!	A health to you, A wealth to you, And the best that life can give to you.

II.Choose a holiday and write a greeting card to your friend.

SPEAKING PRACTICE

I.Put sentences describing holidays in the correct order and describe the way you celebrate your favourite holidays.

______People give presents to their relatives and friends.

______They organise a party to celebrate their favourite holiday.

______All the guests go for a walk together.

______They write cards and invite their friends to the holiday.

______They prepare a festive dinner.

______They decorate the house for the holiday.

______Relatives and friends visit the party.

______They enjoy the party. They have fun together.

II. Describe your favourite holiday to your friend using the vocabulary of the section. Use the following questions:

Is it a public or private holiday?

Is it national or international holiday?

When do you celebrate it?

How do you prepare for the holiday?

How do you celebrate it?

Are there any customs and traditions connected with the holiday?

What are they?

Why is it your favourite holiday?

Lesson 5

PROBLEM-BASED TASK “My native town”

Introduction

There is a great number of cities and towns or even villages in every country. But there is only one that you will never forget. It is your native city, a place you have been born in. Now you will have a chance to inform others and to share your emotions about it.

The task

Imagine you are on an exchange programme in a European university. Your new group mates want to know more about your Motherland. Write an article into a university paper about your native town. Think of the questions the students may ask you about the city (10 questions). Try to answer them in the article.

Speak about

· the location of the city (it’s geographic position, rivers, lakes, mountains, etc.));

· the population of the city;

· the economic situation of the city (industrial or agricultural, etc.)

· the cultural life (theatres, museums, parks, galleries etc.)

· the sights of the city.

Try to share your emotions about the city. You may bring some photos of the city sights.

Evaluation

This assignment is worth 5 grades. Points will be awarded as follows:

1 grade – the use of the vocabulary of the lesson

1 grade – the grammatical correctness of the text

1 grade – informativness (did you answer all the questions)

1 grade – the composition of the text

1 grade – creativity, effort and neatness of presentation, personal effort

Group discussion “HOLIDAYS”

Introduction

There are many countries all over the world. Different countries have different customs, cultures, languages, and religions. They also have different holidays.

The task

At home study the following websites to gather information about holidays in English speaking countries.

http://www.worldbook.com/wb/Students?content_spotlight/holidays

www.school-city.by/index.php?Itemid=48&id=9750&option=com_content&task=view

www.chenowith.k12.or.us/tech/subject/fun/holidays.html

Work in groups. Discuss the following questions concerning holidays in different countries.

1. What are the favourite holidays in your country?
2. Do you like these holidays? Why?
3. What are the favourite holidays in English speaking countries (Great Britain, The USA, Australia, etc.)?
4. What are the common holidays that all countries celebrate? Are there any differences?
5. What are the holidays that are celebrated only in this or that country?

Evaluation

This assignment is worth 5 grades. Points will be awarded as follows:

1 grade – the use of the vocabulary of the lesson

1 grade – the grammatical correctness of speech

1 grade – informativeness (did you answer all the questions)

1 grade – personal effort and activity

1 grade – creativity and neatness of presentation

Lesson 6

PRESENTATION “BRITISH CULTURE”

Introduction

It is impossible to learn the language without knowing its culture. It will also help you to know your native culture better.

The task

In groups prepare a presentation about English culture.

Speak about the following

· Facts and figures (country, geography, weather, population, flag, economy, religion, etc.);

· Daily life (place to live, houses, transport, shops, family life, etc.);

· Etiquette (social customs, greetings, eating manners, meal times, etc.);

· Customs and traditions (festivals and holidays, unusual customs, costumes, national flowers, etc.)

Resources recommended

www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/

www.stgiles.co.uk/General_cultural_information.pdf

www.english-culture-swicki.eurekster.com/

Evaluation

This assignment is worth 10 grades. Points will be awarded as follows:

1 grade – the use of the vocabulary of the lesson

1 grade – the grammatical correctness of speech

1 grade – personal effort and activity

2 grades – creativity and neatness of presentation

3 grades – informativeness (did you answer all the questions)

BONUS

English humour is an integral part of the British culture. Study the following anecdotes, but to enjoy them, you should match the beginning of the jokes with their ends.

Beginning	End
I’d like some crocodile shoes, please.	No, Sir, round.
Which is faster heat or cold?	Because it’s too far to walk.
Waiter, will the pancakes be long?	Use the pencil till I get there.
Why do birds fly south?	A screwdriver.
Doctor, what will I do? My son’s just swallowed a pen?	Certainly, Madam. What size does your crocodile wear?
What kind of driver has never accidents?	Heat, because you can catch cold.