Dependency, Isolation and Goal Derailment

§ The practitioner has told me that I should break ties with most of my important relationships (such as those listed below) and I don’t understand why:

Mother Father Sister(s) Brother(s) Partner or Spouse
Social groups Religious activities Treatment group
Close friend(s) Political groups 12-Step programs Other

§ The practitioner encourages me to see him/her as often as I can afford to do so, even if I don’t feel a need to come so often.

§ The practitioner encourages me to telephone him/her often, even if I feel I don’t need to.

§ The practitioner tells me what she/he is doing in terms of personal growth and suggests that I do the same thing.

§ The practitioner goes out of his or her way to accommodate the frequent schedule changes that I request, even though it is very inconvenient for him/her.

§ The practitioner suggested that I drop out of school.

§ The practitioner seemed to think that my plans to go to/complete school were a bad idea.

§ The practitioner thought that my ideas to change my career for the better were not a good idea.

§ The practitioner offered to see me free if I were to run out of money, even if I needed long-term free treatment.

§ The practitioner has given me his or her own used clothing.

§ The practitioner tells me what clothing to wear and/or how to wear my hair.

§ The practitioner demands that I talk to no one about my treatment.

§ I have said several times that I’d like to see another practitioner for a consultation about my treatment, but my practitioner is adamant that I shouldn’t do it.

§ The practitioner regularly offers concrete support to me such as visits to my home, accompanying me in difficult situations, frequent calling to see how I am. When I am in a crisis, he/she is even more available.

§ I feel with this practitioner as though I’ve found the kind of help and understanding I’ve wanted all my life.

§ The practitioner regularly reminds me that she/he is the only person in my life who really cares about me. The practitioner regularly reminds me that he/she is the only person who really understands me and knows what’s good for me.

Social Contact

§ I have been to parties where the practitioner was and the practitioner didn’t discuss the implications of traveling in the same social circles.

§ The practitioner has invited me to parties.

§ I have invited the practitioner to parties to which he/she came.

§ I have invited the practitioner to parties to which he/she did not come but said it was because of a prior engagement.

§ I have attended professional meetings with this practitioner at his/her invitation.

§ This practitioner and I usually attend the same AA or Al-Anon (or equivalent) meeting.

§ This practitioner often gives me a ride to the bus at the end of the session.

§ This practitioner often gives me a ride home.

§ I have stayed at this practitioner’s house overnight.

§ I have spent social time with members of this practitioner’s family.

§ I have been/am intimately involved with one or more members of this practitioner’s family.

§ This practitioner and I have close friends in common.

§ Practitioner said or implied that we could be friends when treatment was over.

§ The practitioner sometimes takes drugs or drinks alcohol with me.

§ The practitioner has given me illegal drugs.

§ I have seen my practitioner nude at the health spa, gym, etc.

§ I have seen my practitioner at the gym or health club (dressed).

§ My practitioner and I are on the same sports team.

§ My practitioner and I are on competing sports teams and predictably see each other in that context.

§ I have access to a lot of personal information about the practitioner from mutual friends or colleagues.

§ We have never discussed how social contact outside the professional relationship might affect the professional relationship.

§ Other kinds of social contact. Please describe:

Feeling Special

§ The practitioner told me that I was his/her favorite client.

§ The practitioner talked about other clients in my presence.

§ The practitioner took calls from other clients in my presence and let me know who they were.

§ The practitioner said that she/he had never known anyone like me before.

§ The practitioner gives me lots of presents and says they’re a reflection of how important I am to him/her.

§ The practitioner tells me about other clients in a way that makes me feel important, trusted and special.

§ The practitioner told me I was special.

§ Other ways the practitioner helped you feel special. Please describe:

Cult Themes

§ There are many clients who seem close to this practitioner. I have met them or heard about them.

§ The practitioner likes to foster a sense of family and community among his/her clients, which I have been part of.

§ There are often parties or social meetings at the practitioner’s home, which I have attended.

§ The practitioner often takes former clients on as trainees at his/her training institute.

§ The practitioner plays the role of “guru” for his/her clients. He/she has a vision about how the world should be and is trying to develop a community of clients as followers/participants in this community.

§ I myself have been part of the planning group for the community the practitioner hopes to develop.

§ The practitioner talks about other clients I know with no respect for their right to confidentiality.

§ Ritualized group activities such as ceremonies were part of my relationship with the practitioner and his/her community.

§ The practitioner is the “guru” of the group in which she/he is involved.

§ Ritualized, sadistic activity in the presence of others.

§ Other ways the practitioner established a community or family-type atmosphere. Please describe:

Mind Control

§ The practitioner uses hypnosis as part of the treatment and I often don’t know what’s going on. When I ask, he/she refuses to answer.

§ I feel as though I’ve been hypnotized or somehow in a trance-like state in the practitioner’s presence, though he/she doesn’t seem to obviously use hypnosis.

§ I remember the practitioner making hypnotic suggestions that I don’t feel comfortable with.

§ After treatment was over, I began to remember some of the things the practitioner said or did while I was in a trance-like state, which in retrospect feel very uncomfortable or abusive.

§ The practitioner suggested that I kill myself.

§ The practitioner failed to take my suicidal feelings seriously. The practitioner suggested or implied that I might be better off dead.

§ The practitioner fostered a lot of dependency and then started trying to get me to do things I didn’t want to do.

§ The practitioner insulted what I believed were the good parts of my life.

§ A short time after I started treatment, my life began to fall apart. The practitioner didn’t seem concerned about my life. Rather, he/she seemed concerned that I stay dependent on him/her. Sometimes I feel/felt drugged after sessions.

§ Other ways the practitioner affected your thinking or undermined your strength. Please describe:

Sexual Activity

§ The practitioner engaged (with or without physical force) in overt sexual contact such as: kissing of mouth, breasts, genitals; sexual hugs (prolonged full body hugs, pelvic thrusts, obvious erections); partial or total disrobing for the purpose of sexual contact; fondling of breasts or genitals (with or without clothing); masturbation; oral sex; vaginal or anal intercourse; use of sex toys; sexual activity while I was drugged.

§ Practitioner engaged in sexual activity with me against my will.

§ Practitioner initiated sexual activity with me on the condition that I keep quiet about it, by saying things like: If this gets out it will ruin me and/or my family.

§ After the sexual part of my relationship with the practitioner ended, he/she told me that if I told anyone she/he’d be ruined.

§ After the sexual part of my relationship with the practitioner ended, he/she threatened to expose embarrassing parts of my psychological history if I ever told anyone in authority or filed a complaint.

§ Practitioner threatens that if I don’t work on my repressed sexuality by being sexual with him/her, I’ll never get better.

§ After treatment ended, the practitioner called to ask me for a date.

§ A short time after treatment ended, I started a sexual relationship with the practitioner.

Seductive Language and Nonverbal Interaction:

§ Practitioner says, “If only I’d known you back then, we’d have made a good couple…”

§ Practitioner compliments my body.

§ Practitioner discusses his/ her sexual attraction to me.

§ Practitioner says, “If only we both weren’t married…”

§ Practitioner says he/she would like to have an affair with me when treatment is over.

§ Practitioner seems to have a voyeuristic interest in my sex life.

§ Practitioner sends me love letters.

§ Practitioner gives me sex toys to use at home, tells me how to use them and asks for details about how I’m doing with them.

§ Practitioner makes frequent comments on my appearance with the goal of having me appear as “sexually attractive” as possible.

§ Practitioner often suggested or implied that we could have an affair when treatment was over.

§ Practitioner looks at me in a voyeuristic way.

Treatment Process

§ Practitioner tells me his/her problems so that I can offer help or advice.

§ Practitioner talks a lot about him/herself and I don’t understand the relevance of what she/he is sharing for my treatment.

§ Practitioner seems to free associate to what I say and spin off into his/her own thinking. I feel like my issues aren’t being addressed.

§ Practitioner always acts like he/she knows what’s best for me without asking me.

§ Practitioner is cold, distant, rigid.

§ Practitioner gets very angry, sometimes yells at me.

§ Practitioner interprets everything that happens between us as transference, even when I’m sure he/she has had a clear effect on how I feel.

§ Since starting treatment, I’ve felt worse rather than better, and the practitioner doesn’t seem concerned that this is happening or explain why it might be happening.

§ After starting treatment, my life began to fall apart. Rather than being concerned about the quality of my life or my state of mind, the practitioner seems more interested that I stay dependent upon him/her.

§ Since starting treatment, I’ve felt suicidal for the first time in my life; the practitioner doesn’t seem concerned.

§ Practitioner is hostile, sadistic.

§ Practitioner seems to enjoy my pain.

§ Practitioner fails to take my suicidal feelings seriously.

§ Practitioner suggested, either directly or indirectly, that I kill myself (e.g. that I would be better off dead; that s/he dreamt that I was dead; that suicide might be a reasonable alternative for me, etc.).

§ Practitioner insults parts of myself over which I have little or no control such as my physical characteristics and abilities, weight, race, gender, age, sexual orientation, hospitalization history, etc.

§ Practitioner insults other aspects of my life. She/he seems more interested in tearing me down than in building me up.

§ Practitioner threatens that if I don’t do what he/she says, I’ll never get better. Sometimes that feels right, sometimes it doesn’t.

§ The practitioner diminished the importance of a prior abusive treatment.

§ The practitioner refuses to address my current needs, always insisting that my current problems must be addressed by working with my earlier experiences.

§ The practitioner repeatedly yells at me in a loud voice.

§ I often say that I don’t think treatment is going very well and the practitioner brushes me off.

§ When I raise questions about what is happening in my treatment, the practitioner refuses to discuss the treatment process, how he/she works, what I can expect from the treatment, etc.

§ The practitioner would not tell me what his/her credentials are.

§ The practitioner misrepresented his/her credentials.

§ The practitioner advertised services that he/she was not qualified to deliver.

§ The practitioner uses drugs or alcohol with me.

§ The practitioner encouraged me to use drugs or alcohol, even though he/she knows that I have a history of troubles with drugs or alcohol.

§ The practitioner seemed drugged or drunk in sessions.

§ The practitioner and I used drugs or alcohol together during treatment sessions or office visits.

§ The practitioner insults me for having the problems I have.

§ The treatment ended without a termination process.

§ The treatment ended with me feeling very upset, and the practitioner didn’t suggest a referral to another practitioner.

§ The practitioner talked about me with other people without my permission.

§ The practitioner failed to carefully explain the limits of confidentiality.