Mother-teenager situation Self-determination 3 страница

c) Share your own experiences from those times with the group. Describe some true incidents if possible.

d) If someone in the group has got a teenage sister/brother let them speak about how it goes. Ask them questions.

e) Read through your “parts”, then start the simulation.

Mother-teenager situation Self-determination

YOU: Discussing with your mother when to come home in the evening.

You want to decide, have move influence on your own life. Going to a party tonight. Come home at 11 o’clock. Much too early. Want to borrow some money for the party and the food. Have spent this month’s pocket money. Old enough, responsible for what you do.

Willing to an agreement, don’t want to spoil your good relationship.

MOTHER: Talking to your son/daughter when to come home in the evening.

You would like to decide, have the final say. Your opinion – 11 o’clock at the latest. It has been agreed upon for a long time. Pocket money should last for a whole month. You are worried when not at home. Not old enough to decide. Willing to discuss the matter and maybe make a deal they both can share.

Act out the simulations and decide by secret or open ballot on which one is the best.

Task 5.WRITING (“Between childhood and adult life”)

[A].Read this letter which was published in a newspaper. Do you sympathise with the writer’s problem?

Dear Sir,

I am 14 years old and I’m fed up. Adults don’t consider me grown up. They make my life miserable by saying I can’t do because I’m not old enough. On the other hand, I’m not allowed to have a happy carefree life like my younger brother and sister because they say I’m not a child any more and must be more responsible. What is a teenager supposed to do?

Yours,

CK

[B].Make one list of all the advantages of being 14, and another list of all the disadvantages.

[C].Write a letter in reply to CK for publication in the newspaper. Sat what you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of being 14, and what attitude to their age you think young people should take. The topic sentences of your letter have been done for you.

Dear CK,

I know very well that the teenage years can be confusing. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… The disadvantages of being between childhood and adult life are obvious. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… On the other hand, this can be an exciting time in a person’s life. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… In conclusion, I think you should make the best of these years. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Yours,

………………………………..

Task 6.These extracts from an article about dealing with toddlers and pre-school children contain phrasal verbs and set phrases related in some way to language and psychology. Match each verb or phrase in bold to a definition.

DISCIPLINE

• If you need to (1) tell a toddler off for doing something wrong, do so immediately – threats of “just you wait till Daddy gets home” are largely ineffective as the child will have forgotten what she did wrong by the time her father gets round to (2) giving her a talking-to.

• Make it clear it is the behaviour that is unacceptable, not the child herself. (“That was a naughty thing you did when you threw your lunch on the floor,” rather than “You’re a bad girl”) and (3) point out why it was wrong. (Now I’ll have to clean the kitchen floor and we won’t be able to spend so long in the park as we’d planned.)

• Avoid (4) reeling off a catalogue of all her other misdemeanours that day; this will only serve to give the impression that she is basically a “bad” person.

• If your child (5) talks back when criticized or given instructions, don’t react with another insult – leave the room until you’ve both (6) calmed down and tackle the issue again later when your (7) feelings are no longer running high. You then have a much better chance of (8) talking her into doing what you wanted in the first place.

COMMUNICATION

• Pre-school children can (9) gabble away for hours despite having a fairly limited vocabulary. This can be tiresome for parents, but it is an essential stage of language-learning. Make some time in the day when you (10) join in with his conversations and then he will be more likely to (11) pipe down without protest when you need a little peace and quiet.

• Avoid (12) talking down to your child – answering questions with “you’re too young to understand that sort of thing” stifles a child’s curiosity and desire to learn. Young children are capable of (13) taking in quite sophisticated ideas, such as why we have night and day, if they are explained in simple enough terms.

• Encourage your child to talk about his feelings and let him cry when it’s appropriate – if he is not allowed to do so, he will (14) bottle his emotions up and they may emerge, much more violently, in the form of tantrums.

• Make clear rules for what happens when you have visitors – for example, he mustn’t expect you to (15) break off every two minutes when talking to friends or relatives just because he’s bored, but that it is acceptable to (16) break in if he feels unwell or needs to be taken to the bathroom.

• (17) Talk your child through any plans you have for his day, especially if these involve new activities, such as his first day at play-school or the arrival of a new babysitter.

aanswer rudely

bavoid showing

cbe angry or upset

dbe quiet/stop talking

ebecome quiet after being anxious, upset or excited

fexplain something in detail so you are sure it is understood

ginterrupt

hparticipate in an activity with someone else

ipatronize someone/talk to someone as if they were stupid

jpersuade someone to do something

krepeat a list of things that you remember

lstop an activity, especially a conversation

mtalk rapidly and continuously

ntalk to someone angrily because they have done something wrong

(Watch out. This matches two verbs/phrases)

otell someone something they did not already know or had not thought about

punderstand

Task 7.Before you read imagine what it is like to belong to a very large family. Make a list of theadvantages and disadvantages. After reading list advantages and disadvantages of large families mentioned in the text.

HAPPY FAMILY

Richard Aston was standing alone on the concourse of Manchester Piccadilly station. Then his wife Janet arrived, holding 10-week-old baby Joseph in her arms, and children started to appear like rabbits from a conjurer’s hat. Out from her skirts popped Tom, three, and Elizabeth, five, followed by another two – Emily, eight, and Kate, eleven – who trooped out of the sweet kiosk to join the throng.

‘If we go anywhere as a family we normally have to take two cars,’ Richard explained, ‘but we’ve only brought the five youngest to meet you, so we can all fit into this one.’ So this tumbling gaggle of humanity is not the complete Aston story. At home in Bacup, Lancashire, there are yet another three children.

The boot of the Aston-mobile converted into a backward-facing seat and everyone squeezed through into corners, limbs contorted. After a head count we were on our way.

‘Nobody really caters for large families these days,’ shouted Richard above the incessant chatter. ‘Even passports only carry enough room for four dependent children.’

So was little Joe to be the last name on the Aston passport? ‘Yes, definitely as far as I’m concerned,’ Richard replied, visibly paling at the thought of further additions. ‘But you’ll have to ask Janet.’

But there was no time to pursue the point as we came to a halt outside a modern detached house overlooking beautiful moorlands, its garden a clutter of bikes, trikes and trolleys. Janet, who perforce has perfected the art of doing several things at once, disappeared inside to make tea, feed the baby and introduce me to Victoria, 14, Sarah, 17, and Christopher, 19.

The logistics of large families require the planning ability of a Field Marshal to work out. Take cars. One of 11 myself, we used to travel everywhere in a green minibus bought from a local prep school, while our friends’ parents had sharp sports cars and shiny saloons. The van always caused great embarrassment to us when my parents arrived late for school functions, their green goddess back-firing into the school car park, in full view of our smirking friends. The Knight family, relatively small by comparison – with six children ranging from 22 years down to seven months – decorated their recent change-of-address card with a cartoon car piled so full of pots and books and carpets that the children and pets had to sit on the roof.

‘When I first met Chris,’ Katherine Knight said, as she plonked baby Joshua in my arms and led me up the stairs of their new home, a large Victorian house in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, ‘ I drew him a cartoon of us both with our 13 children.’

So there are more to come, I asked Chris?

‘Can’t you see how grey I am already,’ he replied. ‘But then it’s no good asking me. You’ll have to ask the boss.’

One of the characteristics of a family with a 22-year gap between first and last child is that the eldest, inevitably, bring a collection of friends and partners home. As well as Elizabeth, 22, a heavily pregnant Becka, 20, Philip, 12, Joanne, 10, and the baby, there were two sons-in-law adding their pennyworth to the meal-time conversation. Debbie, 17, confined to her bed after having her tonsils removed, also made her presence felt by her constant demands through the intercom system. And then there was Joel, the Knights’ grandson, who at two is older than his Uncle Joshua.

Big families have big appetites. Mine once managed to devour 72 Wagon Wheels on a journey in the green van between Oxford and Cardiff. The Astons consume 10 pints of milk and two loaves of bread a day without blinking. A bulk-buy consignment of meat is bought every month from a local butcher friend and there’s a once-a-week big shop – with a daily top-up – for food. Pizzas, coconut tarts and chocolate cake disappear fast – survival means learning to eat quickly so that you are first in line for seconds.

Privacy and space are non-existent in a big family. Janet and Richard share their bedroom with the two youngest Astons, and Victoria and Elizabeth sleep in the same bed so that Christopher and Sarah can have rooms of their own. ‘That doesn’t mean you get felt alone though,’ complained Sarah, the most vociferous member of the family. ‘My bedroom is on the ground floor, and if I bring a boyfriend home I get five faces appearing at the window.’

Fairness to all children is something that both sets of parents strongly believe in. It’s an admirable intention that somehow never works in practice. ‘Mum and Dad were much stricter with us older ones than with Elizabeth and Emily,’ said Christopher Aston, who does much of the babysitting and general household chores. ‘And there’s always one who gets out of doing everything. In our family it’s Victoria.’

However much the children might whine about each other, though, and swear that they won’t have large families, there is a general understanding that what they are experiencing is something quite special. ‘Christmases are brilliant,’ exclaimed Kate. They are for my family too. Even though now in their twenties and thirties , my brothers insist on certain rituals – like the six-mile run on Boxing Day, and my father dressing up as Santa. They pretend it’s for the next generation’s benefit.

‘My friends love listening to all the stories about us,’ said Sarah. ‘Most people have such boring lives compared to ours.’ And although Elizabeth and Becka Knight have supposedly left home, their visits are so frequent that one might be excused for thinking otherwise.

The Astons and the Knights seem to have produced lively, well-balanced and healthily competitive children with an optimistic outlook. But if one had to choose one thing to sell the ideas of large families, it would be the mothers. Katherine has a vitality that is rare in a mother of one, let alone six. In between the chores that make a large household tick, she finds time to be creative. The house is filled with her paintings, and she has just finished a huge, colourful applique mat for Joshua, complete with detachable people and squeaking clouds. The garage contains the fruits of her labours for the local Sunday School, a life-size papier mache horse and, appropriately enough, a knight. Janet carries an enviably serene and unworried expression. She has smile lines around her eyes, and a loud, hearty laugh. She is everybody’s idea of what a perfect mum should look like.

Task 8.What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of being an only child?

Now read what different people have said about being only children.

Which two people made the same points about these subjects?

1. inventing characters 4. needing a brother or sister

2. being particularly close to a parent 5. being given too many things

3. not having to share things 6. having other children to play with

ONLY CHILDREN

[A] ‘I did invent playmates for myself. I invented games for my toy soldiers too. I was never very spoilt, but the attention was all mine.’ (Frederic Forsyth, novelist)

[B] ‘I arrived when my mother was already forty and consequently I was the apple of her eye. I think I was probably rather spoilt.’(Leslie Crowther, television presenter)

[C] ‘It’s tough being an only child. You tend to be under the illusion the world revolves around you. It might have been nice to have a sister or brother to take the attention away from me. I used to be an isolated kid, just writing poetry and imagining things a lot.’ (Annie Lennox, pop singer)

[D] ‘It’s an advantage. You get undivided attention from your mother. Being alone made me closer to animals, but it also made me quite demanding. But I want lots of children myself.’ (Matthew Rice, designer)

[E] ‘I was a clever, pompous, precocious girl. But if you don’t have sisters or brothers, you need friends, and so I tried hard to make them. I am good at making them still.’ (Andrea Newman, novelist)

[F] ‘I felt lucky, and my friends were jealous because of my single state, particularly because I didn’t have to share bedroom. I think as a child I was materially spoilt. The greatest luxury for mr now is my own company.’ (Julie Burchill, journalist and novelist)

[G] ‘You get the best of both worlds. There was a children’s gang in the village so I was never lonely, but then I returned to my own room and my own books. At home I never had to share.’ (Terry Prachitt, sci-fi author)

[H] ‘It may be true that an only child is spoilt, but, believe me, there are occasions on which you wish there was a brother or sister to share problems. You tend to become self-centred, which is the outward form of self-sufficiency. You spend more time alone, and in the company of adults.’ (Peter Ustinov, actor, dramatist, writer)

[I] ‘I enjoyed my isolation. During my childhood I had an imaginary friend called Fisher who travelled a lot. Whenever I went out I imagined I was retracing his footsteps.’ (Patrick Garland, film and TV director)

Task 9.Read the extract about children in families and see if any of the information is true for you.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE SPOILED: HOW CHILDREN REACT

Psychiatrists have acknowledged that environmental influences and relationships with parents are important factors in the development of personality. But, they say, it is birth order and relationships with siblings that is the most reliable predictor of human behaviour.

First-borns – lots of attention but high parental expectations. Must then cope with the arrival of subsequent children. Try to win back parents’ attention by meeting parents’ expectations. Conservative, responsible, and insecure, but high achievers because they try hard.

Second children - probably rebel against parental authority and goody-goody elder sibling. Attention-seeking, more relaxed attitude to life. May try to outdo elder child.

Middle children – enjoy no clear status, often searching constantly for a role in the family. Attention-seeking.

Youngest – plenty of attention from parents and siblings. If spoiled, can lack ambition.

Only children risk being parent-bound or may find parental relationship claustrophobic and leave home early. Probably precocious and self-sufficient.

Task 10.Questionnaire: are you a suitable person to have children? What sort of parent are you or would you be – strict, soft-hearted, or somewhere between the two? Answer the questions and check your score.

ARE YOU FIT TO BE A PARENT?

1. You have just been for a healthy five-mile run. Your pulse is somewhere over 200 and you wonder whether you are going to live. As you step out of the shower, your child walks into the bathroom, waves a paper in your face, and starts telling you all about the wonderful story he/she has just written about a rabbit with pink ears. As you stand there, dripping wet and searching for your glasses, what do you say?

a) Lovely, dear. What’s the rabbit’s name?

b) Super, darling. But could you just wait until I’ve dried myself and got dressed?

c) If you and your bloody rabbit don’t get out of the bathroom now you’re both going down to the toilet.

2. You have told your child, about seventeen times, to calm down and stop jumping on the living room furniture. Your child climbs up on the window ledge and breaks a window. You tell the child that he/she will have to put two weeks’ pocket money towards the cost of the repair, and you say that he/ she can’t go into the living room again for three days. Is this punishment:

a) too strict?

b) not strict enough?

c) just right?

3. Your child is generally pretty well-behaved, but when his/her best friend Pat comes to play he/she turns into a wild beast. One day, they steal some lipstick and draw pictures all over the kitchen walls. Do you:

a) say that Pat can never come again?

b) try to explain to both of them why this is a bad thing to do?

c) make them clean off the lipstick as well as they can?

4. What do you think about physical punishment?

a) It’s all right to smack a child occasionally for something very serious.

b) Children need to be smacked when they’re naughty – it’s much better than telling them off.

c) It’s always wrong to smack a child.

5. Your child refuses to eat anything except crisps and ice cream. Do you:

a) let him/her live on crisps and ice cream?

b) make the child eat up everything that is on his/her plate at mealtimes?

c) let the child have crisps and ice cream if he/she eats a certain amount of other food?

6. Your child is playing in the middle of the kitchen floor. When you say that you need to clean the floor, the child kicks and screams and refuses to move. Do you:

a) forcibly move the child and his/her toys?

b) explain to the child why it is important that you clean the floor now?

c) put off the cleaning the floor till later?

7. At weekends, your child watches an average of eight hours’ TV a day. He/she is developing square eyes. Do you:

a) have a discussion with the child, explaining why he/she should watch less TV?

b) ration the child to three hours a day?

c) let the child watch what he/she wants?

8. Your child’s room looks like a rubbish dump that has been hit by a bomb. Do you:

a) leave the child to tidy up the room when he/she feels like it?

b) ask the child to tidy up the room when he/she feels like it?

c) tell the child to tidy up the room?

SCORE TABLE AND COMMENTS

1) a – 3 b – 2 c – 1

2) a – 3 b – 2 c – 1

3) a – 1 b – 2 c – 3

4) a – 2 b – 1 c – 3

5) a – 3 b – 1 c – 2

6) a – 1 b – 2 c – 3

7) a – 2 b – 1 c – 3

8) a – 3 b – 2 c – 1

TOTAL 8–13: You are (or would be) a pretty strict parent. Don’t forget that children need patience, understanding and love as well as firmness.

TOTAL 14–19: You (would) try to be neither too strict nor too easy-going. This can be very good if children know what to expect; but it is no good being strict about something one day and soft about in the next.

TOTAL 20–24: You tend towards soft-heartedness. Be careful: children need some limits, so they can define themselves as people and set their own limits later on. The children will know that you love them if you set the limits in a firm but loving way.

BRITISH SCHOOLING

Task 1. Group and swap information talk.

- Looking back on your school years, could you say they were the best days of your life?

Why? / Why not? Did you experience problems in any of these areas when you were at school?

• excessively severe discipline

• pressure to conform

• pressure to succeed

• choosing academic direction

• living up to parents’ / teachers’ expectations

• exams and assessment

• boredom

- How did you feel about going to school?

- Did you have to wear a uniform?

- Were there many rules and regulations? What forms of punishment were there?

- Could you choose the subjects you studied (electives)?

- What exams did you have to take?

- Were you pleased with how the foreign languages were taught in your school?

- Were the teachers good or mediocre?

- What could you say about discipline in your school?

- Did you often play truant (A.E. play hookey)? Why? / Why not?

Task 2. Read the introductory text to the topic paying special attention to the underlined words.

School Education in Britain

Pre-school and Primary Education

Many children under five attend state nursery schools or nursery classes attached to primary schools. Others may attend playgroups in the voluntary sector or in privately run nurseries. In England and Wales many primary schools also operate an early admission policy where they admit children under five into what are called reception classes.

Nursery provision for three-year-olds in the state sector is funded at the discretion of Local Education Authorities while places for children under three is voluntary or private pre-school settings are paid for largely by parents.

State Schools

The provision of maintained school education is the responsibility of Local Education Authorities (LEAs). They employ teachers and other staff, provide and maintain buildings, supply equipment and materials, provide grants to students proceeding to further and higher education.

The majority of pupils – over 90 per cent – go to publicly funded schools, usually known as state schools. These make no charge to parents. In most areas children aged five to ten attend primary schools, and move on to secondary schools at 11 for education up to the age of 16 or beyond. Primary schools usually have both girls and boys as pupils; secondary schools may be either single-sex or co-educational.

At present there are a number of different categories of schools:

- county schools are owned and maintained by Local Education Authorities wholly put of public funds;

- voluntary schools (voluntary-aided schools, voluntary-controlled schools) are provided by voluntary bodies, the majority of which are churches or bodies associated with churches. They too are financed and maintained by LEAs, but the assets of the schools are held and administered by trustees;

- grant-maintained schools are funded by central government, and are fully run by their governors;

- specialist schools (City Technology Colleges, technology colleges and language colleges, sports colleges and arts colleges) only operate in England. The Specialist School Programmes enable secondary schools to develop a strength in a particular subject area, often in partnership with an employer with an interest in the same specialism, while still delivering a broad and balanced education through the National Curriculum. The City Technology Colleges offer a full curriculum, but with special emphasis on science and technology and their practical application;

- special schools are provided by LEAs for certain children with special education needs. They cater for a wide variety of handicap.

Independent Schools

About seven per cent of pupils in England attend independent schools of which there are around 2,270. Independent schools are not funded by the state and obtain most of their finances from fees paid by parents and income from investments. Some of the larger independent schools are known as public schools. Most boarding schools are independent schools and look after their day-to-day affairs. However, they are subject to inspection to ensure they maintain acceptable standards of premises, accommodation and instruction.

The most famous old Public schools are Charter House (1161), Eton (1440), Harrow (1571), St. Paul’s (1509), Westminster (1560) and some others.

The School Curriculum

All state schools in England, Wales and Northern Ireland must conform to the National Curriculum. These set out what subjects pupils should study, what they should be taught and what standards they should achieve. They ensure that pupils cover a broad and balanced range of subjects that helps them to develop the qualities and skills needed in adult and working life.

The period of compulsory education is divided into four key stages, depending on pupils’ age:

Key Stage 1 – Pupils aged 5 to 7

Key Stage 2 – Pupils aged 7 to 11

Key Stage 3 – Pupils aged 11 to 14

Key Stage 4 – Pupils aged 14 to 16

Pupils at Key Stages 1 and 2 study English, mathematics, science, design and technology, history, geography, art, music and physical education; at Key Stage 3 they study all these subjects plus a modern foreign language. Pupils at Key Stage 4 must study English, mathematics, science, physical education, technology and a modern foreign language; this gives pupils more choice and opportunity to pursue further vocational courses if they wish.

Programmes of Study set out what pupils should be taught with Attainment Targets setting out the expected standards of pupils’ performance.

Religious Education

Religious education in schools is not prescribed nationally as part of the curriculum, but is decided locally. Most schools provide religious education in accordance with locally agreed syllabuses. These are required to reflect that religious traditions in Britain are in the main Christian while taking account of the teaching of the other principal religions represented in Britain. All parents have the right to withdraw their child wholly or partly from religious education and schools must agree to any such request.

Assessment

The Government intends to introduce baseline assessments of pupils when they enter primary school. This will be followed by regular assessment and testing of pupils in schools to act as a check on their progress under the National Curriculum and will help teachers to be better informed on areas of weaknesses. Towards the end of each of the first three key stages children are assessed in the core subjects of English, mathematics and science against the attainment targets (national standards) through teachers’ assessments and nationally designed tests.