The Stag’s Antlers (a fable)
A stag admired his reflection in a pool of water one day. "My! But my antlers are very handsome," he thought. "Just look at my poor skinny legs, though. They look as if they could hardly bear my weight." Just then a lion leaped from the bushes at the edge of the water hole, and the frightened stag ran across the open field. He could run much faster than the lion, who was quickly left behind. But when the stag ran into the forest at the other side of the field, he ran into trouble. His antlers became tangled in some vines hanging from a tree. As the lion was catching up with him, the stag struggled frantically to free himself, and thought: "What a fool I am! As long as I could use my skinny legs, I could outrun that lion. But here I am now, trapped by the antlers I admired so much."
stag -- олень
antler – олений рог
2.
A very stout lady addressed a bus-inspector at a bus-stop:
“I want to report the conductor of that bus,” she said, “he was rude!”
“How?” asked the bus-inspector.
“Why,” continued the lady, “he was telling people: ‘the bus is full up,’ and when I got off he said: “room for three inside.”
3.
As you know, Balzac, the famous French writer, was a man of great talent. But he had a strange habit: he liked to tell a person's character by his or her handwriting. He was very proud of this ability and often boasted of it among his friends.
One day his woman-friend brought him an exercise-book of a young man and said:
"My dear friend, I want to know what you think of this boy's character. Don't be afraid to tell me the truth, he is not my son."
Balzac was very glad to demonstrate his ability again and began studying the handwriting.
After some minutes of hard work he said: "All right, I'll tell you the truth. The boy is a bad and lazy fellow."
"It is very strange," said the woman smiling. "This is a page from your own exercise-book, which you used when you were a boy."
4.
Teacher: How many fingers have you?
Tom: Ten.
Teacher: Well, if four were missing, what would you have then?
Tom: No music lessons.
5.
There was a fire in the middle of the night at a country-house where there were many guests. They all rushed outside when they heard the alarm. They did not even wait to put on their clothes. Dressed in blankets and overcoats, they were standing watching the flame when another guest joined them.
"Why did you, people, get so excited?" he asked. "Now look at me. When I heard the alarm, I got out of bed, lighted a cigarette and quietly dressed myself. In fact I was putting on my tie when I thought it was not the best tie to wear with a shirt I had on. So I took it off and put on another. I didn't lose my head at all. I never get excited in a difficult or dangerous situation."
"That's good," said one of his friends, "but why didn't you put on your trousers?''
Crossword Puzzle
I. 1. the look or outward aspect of a person or thing 2. a length of hair that has been separated into three parts and then woven together 3. a woman or a child who is good-looking in an ordinary way 4. your hair may be straight or ... 5. something that grows on your head 6. eyes that sink inwards 7. the plural of the word that means the way someone behaves or talks to somebody 8. hair that grows on a man’s upper lip 9. the expression of your face 10. the soft round area of flesh on each side of your face below your eyes 11. the colour of your face 12. good-looking, pleasant to look at 13. the organ which we use for speaking
II. 14. the way that someone behaves 15. to look like or to be similar to 16. showing very clearly what someone thinks or feels 17. the line of hair above your eye 18. the state of the skin that has lines or small folds in it 19. definite 20. the antonym to light 21. not causing harm or suffering 22. twice the size 23. regularly spaced and neat-looking 24. we smell with it 25. we hear with them 26. not curly 27. we taste with it 28. one of the small hairs that grow along the edge of your eyelids 29. the back part of your foot 30. not fleshy 31. the part of the body that joins head to your shoulders 32. the joint that bends in the middle of the leg.