Table Manners for a Typical Evening Meal.

1. Sit - the host will tell you where to sit, or you ask.

2. Wait for others to start eating. Many homes will pray first.

3. Family style meal - food is passed to the right.

4. Try a little of everything - do not take a Lot of anything.

5. If you do not want something, just pass it on; You do not need to say anything. If they ask, say, "It looks good, but I think I won't have any thank you."

6. Keep the table and table-cloth as clean as possible. Do not put bones or anything on the table. Things that are not eaten should be put on your plate.

7. Do not spit anything out. If there is something in your mouth that you cannot swallow, quietly put it in your paper napkin and then go on (e.g. bones, seeds, etc.)

8. Do not talk with food in your mouth! Wait until you have swallowed everything before talking.

9. Burping - don't!! It is considered rude.

10. Slurping - don't!! Drinking soup or eating noodles - be quiet.

11. When food is passed to you say, "Thank You."

12. When you would like more of some food and it is not right in front of you, say, "Please pass the green beans."

13. Do not reach across the table or in front of someone to get something - that is rude. Ask them to pass it to you.

14. If you need to leave the table to go to the bathroom or do something, say, "Excuse me for a moment, please."

15. If your hostess wants to serve you but you don't want to eat it, say, "Thank you. It looks very good, but I'm not quite used to American food yet. Maybe next time, thanks."

16. Meals are to be slow, pleasant, leisurely times. Enjoy your food, but talk too.

17. Watch how fast others are eating. Try not to be too slow or too fast - keep up with their pace.

18. When you are finished eating, say "What a delicious meal! Thank you so much." Wait for all to be finished before leaving the table.

19. Do not touch your nose, hair or teeth at the table.

20. Toothpicks - are not usually on the table in a home. After the meal, go to the bathroom and clean your teeth if you need to. In restaurants, they are usually at the counter where you pay as you go out. Again, it is best to clean your teeth in the bathroom.

Ways to Say "Thank You".

In America, it is the custom to express appreciation to people who help you in any way. Because it is commonly practiced, most people expect to be thanked when they do something for someone. Sometimes the absence of a “thank you” is misunderstood to mean the effort to help was not appreciated or was not wanted. There are a variety of ways to express gratitude, and the type of help received can help one determine what method of saying “thank you” is most appropriate.

A foreign student should not be overly concerned about how to say “thank-you,” most important is to remember to always express appreciation in one way or another. One should also feel free to be creative in the avenues used.

Here are some possibilities:

1. Always verbally communicate appreciation. When the favor shown did not require a great deal of time or effort, a verbal “thank-you” is enough.

2. Write a short letter or “thank-you” note. Small note cards with “Thank You” printed on the front are sold in most campus bookstores, as well as “Thank You” greeting cards. However, regular stationary is often used and perhaps less expensive.

3. Give a small, inexpensive gift. The gift can be purchased or something you made.

4. Treat the friend to a meal, a movie, or just a snack (ice cream, frozen yogurt, pie and coffee, etc.)

If the favor shown is small, a verbal “thank you” is adequate. For example, if you ask someone for directions, for help with a homework problem, for information, etc., saying “thank you” verbally is enough. The closer the relationship, the less formal the expression of gratitude needs to be. If a classmate is your close friend, a verbal “thanks” is probably enough. If another student whom you do not know well spends many hours helping you prepare for a test, perhaps a written note would be nice. If an American student helps you on a regular basis (weekly or before each test, etc.) perhaps at the end of the school term you could give him or her a small gift and/or a written note of appreciation. To write a thank you note each week would not be appropriate or necessary.

When an American family or friend invites you into their home for a meal, mailing a thank you note to them a day or so later would be appropriate. It is not necessary to carry a gift to the home when you go to eat, but you may if you wish since that may be your custom. It is not the American custom but would not be strange or inappropriate. A small bouquet of flowers or a small box of candy would also be appropriate. If you stay overnight in a home, a thank you note should be left on the bed or bedside table as you leave or mailed to the hostess soon after. A small gift can also be left for the hostess with the note or presented to the hostess prior to leaving, but is not necessary. If your time in the family’s home is an extended visit, a small gift should be given to the hostess. If you spend Christmas with an American family, prepare to give a gift to the family. It doesn’t need to be an expensive gift. Present the gift at the time they exchange gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, or just quietly place the gift under their Christmas tree with the other gifts. It is not necessary to present gifts for other holidays.

If an American friend gives you a gift, it would be nice to write a short note to express gratitude to them.