Two points of view on a family relationship

There is a feature in a magazine in which members of the same

family describe their relationship.

You will read about James Mitford, an actor, and his daughter

Amy.

My Daughter

James Mitford:My wife and I only had the one child. It might have been nice to have a son, but we didn't plan a family, we just had Amy.

I see her as my best friend. I think she'd always come to me first if she had a problem. We have the same sense of humour, and share inter­ests. I don't mind animals, but she's completely obsessed with them, and she has always had dogs, cats, horses, and goldfish in her life.

We were closest when she was about four, which I think is a lovely age for a child. They know the parents best, and don't have the outside con­tacts. She must have grown up suddenly when she went to school, be­cause I remember her growing away from her family slightly. Any father who has a teenage daughter comes across an extraordinary collection of people, and there seemed to be an endless stream of strange young men coming through our house. By the time I'd learned their names they'd gone away and I had to start learning a new lot. I remember I told her off once in front of her friends and she didn't talk to me for days afterwards.

I wanted more than anything else for her to be happy in what she was doing, and I was prepared to pull strings to help her on her way. She went to a good school, but that didn't work out. She must have upset somebody. When she left she decided she wanted to become an actress so I got her into drama school. It wasn't to her liking so she joined a

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theatre group and began doing bits and pieces in films. She was doing well, but then gave it up. She probably found it boring. Then she took up social work, and finally went to work for a designer and he became her husband. And that's really the story of her life. She must be happy with him — they're always together.

We have the same tastes in books and music, but it takes me a while to get used to new pop songs. I used to take her to see the opera, which is my big passion, but I don't think she likes it very much, she doesn't come with me any more.

I don't think she's a big television watcher. She knows when I'm on, and she might watch, but I don't know. It's not the kind of thing she tells me.

We're very grateful for Amy. She's a good daughter as daughters go. We're looking forward to being grandparents. I'm sure she'll have a son.

My Father

Amy Mitford:I don't really know my father. He isn't easy to get on with. He's quite self-centred, and a little bit vain, I think, and in some ways quite unapproachable. The public must think he's very easy-go­ing, but at home he keeps himself to himself.

He can't have been at home much when I was a child, because I don't remember much about him. He's always been slightly out of touch with family life. His work always came first, and he was always off somewhere acting or rehearsing. He loves being asked for his autograph, he loves to be recognized. He has won several awards, and he's very proud of that. He was given the Member of the British Empire, and we had to go to Buckingham Palace to get the medal. It was incredibly boring — there were hundreds of other people getting the same thing, and you had to sit there for hours. He shows off his awards to whoever comes to the house.

I went to public school, and because of my total lack of interest and non-attendance I was asked to leave. I didn't want to go there in the first place. I was taken away from all my friends. He must have been very pleased to get me into the school, but in the end it was a complete waste of money. I let him down quite badly, I suppose. I tried several jobs but I couldn't settle down in them. They just weren't challenging enough. Then I realized that what I really wanted to do was live in the country and look after animals, so that's what I now do.

As a family, we're not that close, either emotionally or geographi­cally. We don't see much of each other these days. My father and I are totally different, like chalk and cheese. My interests have always been

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the country, but he's into books, music and above all, opera, which I hate. If they do come to see us, they're in completely the wrong clothes for the country — mink coats, nice little leather shoes, not exactly ideal for long walks across the fields.

He was totally opposed to me getting married. He was hoping we would break up. Gerald's too humble, I suppose. He must have wanted me to marry someone famous, but I didn't, and that's all there is to it. We don't want children, but my father keeps on and on talking about wanting grandchildren. You can't make someone have children just be­cause you want grandchildren.

I never watch him on television. I'm not that interested, and anyway he usually forgets to tell me when he's on.

A. Questions.

In questions 1-3, there is not necessarily one correct answer only.

1. How would you describe their relationship?

a. It was closer when Amy was a child.

b. They get on well, and agree on most things.

c. Не has more respect for her than she does for him.

d. They don't have very much in common.

2. How would you describe James Mitford?

a. He has done all that a father can for his daughter.

b. He isn't very aware of how she really feels.

с He's more interested in himself than his family.

3. How would you describe Amy?

a. She is selfish and spoilt.

b. It took her a long time to decide what she wanted to do in life,
с She found happiness in marriage that she didn't have in child­
hood.

4. What did he think of her friends when she was a teenager?

5. Why did she leave school?

6. Why did she give up her jobs?

7. What does lie think of her husband?

8. Is she interested in his career?

9. Is she going to have children?

10. How often do they see each other?

What do you think?

Who has the more realistic view of the relationship?

Why?

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B. Practice.

The verb getis very common in spoken English, and it has many differ­ent meanings.

1. In the following sentences replace the word getby one of the verbs in the box.

fetch earn receive arrive

catch buy become have

1. We got home after midnight. 2. While you're at the shops, could you get something for supper? 3. Can we stop for a while? I'm getting tired. 4. I'm getting the ten o'clock train. 5. She gets three hundred pounds a week. 6. Could you get my slippers for me? They're upstairs. 7. We can get something to eat on the train. 8. Did you get my last letter?

2. Replace the words in italics in the following sentences with a multi­word verb from the texts.

1. He started playing golf because he needed the exercise. 2. I unex­pectedly met an old school friend last week. 3. Have you heard? Jane and Andrew have separated"? 4. What sort of relationship do you have with your parents? 5.1 can't stand her. She's always boasting about her wonderful children. 6. Are you beginning to get established in your new flat? 7. Tennis was taking up too much of my time, so I stopped doing it. 8. Don't disappoint me. I'm relying on you to help me. 9. She was rep­rimanded for getting her new clothes dirty. 10. It was a good plan in theory but it wasn't successful in practice.

3. Make up sentences with the following multi-word verbs:

to work out; to let down; to tell off; to break up; to take up; to come across; to get on (with); to show off; to settle down; to give up; to keep on; to look forward to.

4. Translate into English.

1. Он намерен заняться медициной после окончания школы (after school). 2. Вы можете положиться на него, он вас не подведет. 3. Это была любовь с первого взгляда. Они поженились, но вскоре разошлись. Они совершенно разные люди. 4. Я вчера случайно нашел несколько старых писем. 5. Он хотел похвалиться своей новой машиной. 6. Она бросила работу, чтобы ухаживать за своей больной матерью. 6. Отец отчитал (отругал) меня, так как я вернулась домой поздно и не предупредила его. 7. План оказался удачным. 8. Он в

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хороших отношениях со своей тещей. 9. В твоем возрасте пора уже взяться за ум. 10. Я с нетерпением жду поездки в Париж. 11. Он все время задает глупые вопросы.

С. Divide into two groups, those with children and those without. Dis­cuss the following questions.

GroupA People with children

1. Who do your children look like? Who do they take after in char­acter?

2. Have you brought up your children similarly to the way your parents brought you up? Are you more (less strict? More) less indulgent?

3. In what ways do you hope your children's life will be better than yours?

Group ВPeople without children

1. Who do you most take after, your mother or your father? Who do you look like? Who are you like in character?

2. How much of a generation gap is there / was there between you and your parents?

3. Would you want to bring up your children similarly to the way your parents brought you up?

Conversation Practice

Focus on phrasal werbs.

Family Relationship